Saturday, January 18, 2014

L'Eliser d'Amore (Elixir of Love)

Hi reader,
Last night I went to see the Metropolitan Opera production of Donzetti's L'Eliser d'Amore.  Written in the 1831, the story centers around the quest of Nemorino, a young village worker in rural Italy, to win the heart of Adina, a successful farm owner.  While Adina is busy falling for an obnoxious, self-important army general, a traveling salesman passes through town peddling.....you guessed it....a magical Elixir of Love. Nemorino purchases the elixir at a premium and tragedy, confusion and comedy follow, ultimately concluding in happiness.
Now I know that passion for opera is not what it used to be and I probably lost most of you at "Written in 1831..." but if you are still following along, the story begs several questions still relevant in today's society. The most important of which:

If someone was selling something they promised would make you more attractive to the opposite sex, something that would trick people into loving you, would you buy it?  




No, you say?  What about $34-a-tube Chanel Rouge lipstick? Viagra? Prada? Rolex? Spanx? A person to write your profile on your match.com account?


The bottom line is our society is all about the capitalization of love--we attempt to buy acceptance and affection from our family members and potential suitors every day.  Our advertising-addicted culture leads us to believe the only acceptable standard is absolute perfection, and the only way to get there is to spend spend spend.



In the quest for perfection I think our society has started to value consumption above love.  That is why rapid-fire online dating has become so popular.  That is why women expect men to pay for a $400 dinner on a first date and men expect...well, something that usually involves "coming upstairs for a nightcap" in return.  In our search for something that does not exist we are losing our ability to communicate with other people in a genuine way.  No one takes the time to genuinely get to know each other anymore and therefore dates are expected to fizzle, marriages are expected to fail and no one is surprised by unreturned phone calls.

How do we come back from this abyss?  To come from the tragedy into the comedy and the eventual happy ending?  Maybe instead of feeding into the capitalistic machine of the Elixir of Love, we need to lower our expectations and focus on being kind and realistic with each other.  Go on a walk when you first meet someone.  Take the time to get to know them.  Don't expect instant perfection.  Instead, be realistic and polite--return phone calls, open doors, attempt interesting conversation, put your phone away and don't treat people as through they are expendable/replaceable/exchangeable store-bought goods. Put time into your relationships-nurture your friends, give people a second change and understand there are lots of reasons someone may be a good fit in your life, even if that person doesn't fit into your idea of the perfect friend/brother/sister/lover/mentor.

The real L'Eliser d'Amore can't be bought from some swindling, street-peddling advertising executive.  Try kindness over time.

But in a more fun vein of questioning, what is the MOST ridiculous thing you have ever boughten to make a guy/girl/family member like you more?  Comment below!

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