Hi reader,
It is hard to make friends. It is the constant lament of young adulthood--where do you MEET people anymore? Alcoholic painting classes? Creepily complimenting a stranger in Starbucks? Friend stealing from other acquaintances? Facebook-connecting with your BFF from nursery school?
And even if you do manage to meet some relatively normal people, it is increasingly difficult to keep friends. Sometimes, at the end of a day of work, I don't want to go to a restaurant and discuss my feelings and sound interesting. I want to sit in a room by myself, reading People magazine and judging the life decisions of imperfect strangers. But at the end of the day, I'm always happy if I put down the Ben and Jerry's and head out the door. Here are some things that make it easier:
Don't always schedule a talking activity. Do something you enjoy where you can talk about it AFTER--a spin class, a museum walk, synchronized swimming, synchronized People magazine reading, whatever.
Read the news. Or at least skim the headlines. Including the sports section. Yes really. It makes you more interesting.
Have some good questions. I'm obsessed with questions. Reflect on what is going on in your life, the world, etc, and have some topics ready to discuss. "Have you tried (insert name of $80 face cream you are thinking about buying/fun new workout/photo collage app)? Did you hear about (try to stick to actual news events here...if you consider Jennifer Lawrence's new haircut news, that's your business)?" Don't bother with small talk questions, that stuff comes out naturally.
Balance. You don't need to be out every night. Aim to be interesting at least 50% of the time--and buy low-fat ice cream for the other 50%.
It is hard to make friends. It is the constant lament of young adulthood--where do you MEET people anymore? Alcoholic painting classes? Creepily complimenting a stranger in Starbucks? Friend stealing from other acquaintances? Facebook-connecting with your BFF from nursery school?
And even if you do manage to meet some relatively normal people, it is increasingly difficult to keep friends. Sometimes, at the end of a day of work, I don't want to go to a restaurant and discuss my feelings and sound interesting. I want to sit in a room by myself, reading People magazine and judging the life decisions of imperfect strangers. But at the end of the day, I'm always happy if I put down the Ben and Jerry's and head out the door. Here are some things that make it easier:
Don't always schedule a talking activity. Do something you enjoy where you can talk about it AFTER--a spin class, a museum walk, synchronized swimming, synchronized People magazine reading, whatever.
Read the news. Or at least skim the headlines. Including the sports section. Yes really. It makes you more interesting.
Have some good questions. I'm obsessed with questions. Reflect on what is going on in your life, the world, etc, and have some topics ready to discuss. "Have you tried (insert name of $80 face cream you are thinking about buying/fun new workout/photo collage app)? Did you hear about (try to stick to actual news events here...if you consider Jennifer Lawrence's new haircut news, that's your business)?" Don't bother with small talk questions, that stuff comes out naturally.
Balance. You don't need to be out every night. Aim to be interesting at least 50% of the time--and buy low-fat ice cream for the other 50%.
