Secrets of Effective Communication

I don't speak Spanish. This may not seem like earth-shattering news, and until recently I never really gave it a second thought. Then, about 2 weeks ago, I moved to Spain.  All of a sudden, my lack of Spanish was quite a relevant and important part of my day-to-day life.  I am working in an American setting here and could honestly probably get by without learning much of the language, but my interactions with shop-keepers, waiters and cute boys in bars classy museums now center around my very minimal command of a foreign language.
Like every time I travel, I was immediately reminded of the other ways that exist to communicate.  Get your mind out of the gutter...I'm talking about general body language and the overall transfer of energy that happens in a conversation.  So, find some secrets of effective communication (when language is a barrier or even when its not) below:




1) Send good vibes. Smile.  Be polite. Laugh when it is obvious you are acting like a total idiot.  People respond well to these friendly gestures.  Laughter means the same thing all over the world.  Don't take everything so seriously--send out positivity and it will come back to you.


2) Gesture emphatically. Want to know where to take a right turn?  Use your hands!  Even more than that, use your body--mimic turning, point at things, make shapes with your arms...look like an idiot?  Who cares?! Better than getting lost.


3) Learn some key phrases.  Then--take a deep breath, open your mouth and actually attempt them.  Be ready to repeat step 1 as necessary--you WILL sound like an idiot. I promise.  But it's okay.  People will be happy that you are trying and especially happy about all your positive energy.


4) Refresh yourself.  Restaurants are a wonderful place to learn language.  Full or directions to ask and things to gesture at.  Your waiter is literally paid to talk to you-take advantage of them. Also, very important-restaurants tend to serve drinks.  Drink them.  They don't even need to be alcoholic (though that helps considerably).  Loosen up. 


5) Use common sense.  Walk around like you know what you are doing.  Research your surroundings. Don't go places if you have a bad feeling. Don't talk to people that GIVE you a bad feeling.  Perfect a "don't f*ck with me" look-this is universal.

See?  You already know how to order a drink!

              

  

Practice Reflection

Oh, August.  Gazing at my gelato-cellulite dappled pale thighs in the sunlight.  Sweating profusely into my flip flops.  Squinting adorably in the bright, burning sunlight.

Clearly, outdoor activities are not a strong option.  August is a great time to practice activities that can be completed in air-conditioned rooms.  Since the gym sucks and the Kardashians are all reruns, this means I finally have time for the dreaded practice of "self reflection".

Here's the thing about self-reflection-its difficult.  If done correctly it's an intense, creative process akin to art or music.  (I suck at art and music.)  It's time consuming and requires a moderately off-putting amount of thought, especially considering you are thinking about something that ALREADY HAPPENED. I do think it's an important practice, but like other important yet annoying practices (like cooking and picking out cute, cellulite-camouflaging outfits) I believe it is best completed in a streamlined and carefully thought-out order.  So, without further ado, a (short) list of important, meditative questions for self-reflection:

1) Why am I thinking about this?
The things you want to reflect on are in your mind for a reason.  What are the core values of the actions or decisions you are considering? Why is the event important to you?  Once you can distill the values you spend time considering, you can apply them more easily to all areas of your life.
2)  Who do I want to talk to about this?
This question is helpful on many levels for me because I am a talker.  Big-time.  I am constantly searching for ways to make interesting conversation with people.  That being said, I'm terrible at talking about myself.  If I have something that I have already measured and considered I tend to be a little more forth-coming with information. Then people can HELP.  And I love help. I need all the help I can get.
3) What can I do to grow and improve based on this time of reflection?
Yes, good reflection is goal-oriented.  It's peachy to think about all the ways you can become a better person, but as useless as Brittany at a NASA convention (hey girl, you know I love you) unless you actually come up with a plan to change your life.  The magic of the to-do list.

So, in celebration of 1000 page views (thank you!) I am off to reflect on my blog.  I want this to be a beautiful, directed, creative space.  Expect improvements soon!! If there are any suggestions, please feel free to post below.

Addicted to Stuff

As I have been going through my belongings for an upcoming move to Spain, I've received lots of fascinating advice about stuff.  Stuff I should keep, stuff I should throw away, stuff I should plan to keep in storage, stuff that can be reused or recycled, stuff I should plan to buy in Europe.  All this talk has kept me up at night, wondering--

What would we have time to do if we spent less time buying/organizing/admiring/rolling around in/getting buried by all our stuff?  

The volume of stuff that is created, recycled, passed around and thrown away on this planet every day is truly exceptional.  As a species, we are generally obsessed with stuff-how much we have, how much others have, the qualities and advantages of this stuff versus that stuff-which of 17 brands of peanut butter is best, how many disposable cups we can accumulate or not accumulate in a day.  

We do not buy based on need. We buy based on desire.  Erica Sofrina writes about the experience of shopping in an article on care2 and says

Shopping is filling a need. It often provides a distraction from having to look at what is really 

making us unfulfilled. Instead of going to the mall, take an afternoon off and go somewhere 

in nature that inspires you.

I would like to counter and also suggest that people shop because accumulating stuff is EASY.  Commercials and Facebook advertisements tell you what to buy.  If you don't feel like going outside, you can just go online and an adorable drone robot kitten will deliver your brand new mercenary paintball turret right to your back door. No money?  Charge it!  You do know everyone else in the neighborhood has a mercenary paintball turret, right?  Stop thinking so much and just buy, Buy, BUY.  

In preparing to move abroad I want to stop buying.  More than that, I want to stop contributing to this wasteful, superficial, capitalism tornado that is tearing apart our society and destroying our planet.  I am headed to Europe with the feeling that I am good enough, my belongings are good enough and everything is going to be fine.  That feeling is not made out of my stuff. I did not shop for it.  I need surprising little in the way of material possessions to feel that way.  I actually think as I have been getting rid of stuff over the course of the week, I have been achieving a greater sense of calm. I am excited to go meet new people.  I hope they are kind and funny and interesting.  I don't really care what brand of jeans they have on.  I'm excited to walk in the parks, attempt a new language and drink (much too much) coffee in the plazas.  Here's to hoping that none of those activities will require a mercenary paintball turret.  Besos! 

Beautiful photo from Cream Colored Ponies